Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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