So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
