Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Already got asked if we're dating
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize