she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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