and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
