and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm getting married
To pizza
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
