Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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