I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
