Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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