Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
