If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
