I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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