My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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