But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
