I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
