I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
