I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize