I heard we made out
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
