I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
