Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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