Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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