I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
