i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
