ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My breasts were aching with rage.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
