he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize