you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
