i think i have herpe
just one?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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