Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
