i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Terrible idea I love it
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