Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
