just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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