New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
