I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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