Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
