I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
