We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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