consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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