yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How's work?
Spinning.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
