Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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