I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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