remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
