You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
