dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
