They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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