Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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