You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
