Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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