worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
