Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
