I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
