im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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