all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
