It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
