Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
