the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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