I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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