I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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