does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
