just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
