If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
