God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
