Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
