he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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