I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
