I have demons in me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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